just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
