Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
