I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I fill condoms, not promises.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just want to make out with him forever
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
