he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
