I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
