His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
