that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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