party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm too high and old for this...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
