first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
