At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
