Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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