Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
