McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
