what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
