Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
