you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
