We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
