Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
