i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
