There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
