Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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