Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
