Well douche your snatch and let's go!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
