Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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