I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She's the barista slut.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
