like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
