I showed him my bush... on skype.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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