I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
