RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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