I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
