Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
