And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
