Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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