I skipped work to stalk him.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
where are my eyebrows?
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