Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
