upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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