How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
