So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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