im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He better not be in your backpack
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
