So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
