Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
