Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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