Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
