cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
