If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
