Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
