So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
