Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
