party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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