yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
