can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
