He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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