i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
